Racing To Save Lives

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Fighting for family: Erika

As of last Friday, the Central Texas chapter fundraising total for this season is up to $315,022 (Cycle: $59,461; Triathlon: $146,188; Run: $80,923; Walk: $28,450). Even though I've already completed my event, I want to continue sharing stories I read about with you.

Erika, 26
Redmond, WA United States
Living with ALL for 2 years and 6 months

I was in Maui when the symptoms started. We were there for my brother's wedding. I had a 3 year old daughter with the love of my life and finally after years of waiting, he proposed! Thinking it would be my turn to start planning my wedding, I was in store for the fight of mylife..... Cancer.

After 3-4 months of sickness and pain, I was diagnosed with ALL. I was devastated. I didn't think I could stand a chance! The next day they started the chemo. It was so scary!! I had no idea what was in store. My first 10 months of chemo was in the hospital. I pretty much lived there. My daughter referred to it as "mommy's apartment." Every night, as I would say goodbye to her, I would hear her cry all the way down the elevator. It broke my heart. I felt so much anger.... this was not supposed to happen to us. I kept thinking of the mistakes I had made in life, wondering if this was my punishment. It's really hard to thinkof my daughter without her mother, so I decided to fight! I would lie in bed and literally talk to my disease and tell it to get away from me. I fought with all I had.

I still had many days where I felt like not fighting anymore. It was exhausting. But I would just look at my family and everything they were sacrificing to keep me going, and I refused to let them down. So, I would get the tears out..... and fight more!

After about a year of constant going to the hospital for blood and platelet transfusions, bone marrow biopsies, a sick liver, and weight loss, I got to live at home again. I was in remission (still am) and was ready to face the next step: maintenance chemo.

I am now trying to work full time, and am taking chemo pills every night. I still get sick, and occasionally have to be in the hospital for low white blood count. I just got pneumonia, but I am Alive!!! It's hard to miss a lot of work, but I'm fighting that too!!

The hardest things these days is comparing the person I am now to what I used to be. I don't have a lot of energy, I'm angry sometimes, I'm broke, and I'm tired of all of this!! I feel like I let people down, because I'm not always the old "Erika." The one who was a great employee, fun mom that now never has energy, and fighting bills every day gets really old!!

But I am so lucky to have the family I have - they helped me so much- and my daughter is just as tough as I am. She fought right along with me. She is an Angel. I love her so much.

November will be 3 years from my date of remission, and the month where the chemo stops. I can't wait. And I am just waiting to planthe wedding that I have waited so long to finally plan. Life is slowly piecing itself back together, thanks to my family and prayer.